Back to my blog, after some time off. This last month was really a terrific time in my life and I have learned and progressed in many different aspects of myself. Therefore, I think it is time to write about happiness, because I might have started to understand what is happiness about. Happiness now for me is being yourself. This concept was so hidden in my subconscious mind in a way I could not perceive it on me. We are taught since kids to pursue happiness. Interestingly, during childhood we can actually experience this kind of limitless happiness. According to one of my self development mentors, Flavio Gikovate, during childhood we do not fear happiness. We accept receiving it with no defence mechanisms. However, after sometime, when we reach a deep awareness of the world around us and we lack to see inside, we start to be fooled by our own ideas and beliefs. We develop what is called "fear of happiness". This is kind of paradox, but in reality holds us back of having the full enjoyment in our lives. Our mind does not accept anymore happiness because of fearing that something bad might take it away from us. This is a misconception from our mind, since the happiness can be unlimited in every aspect of our life. In my experience lately, I have figured out that there is no such necessity of developing this kind of defence mechanism. I think that the best way of achieving such a state of happiness in the deep meaning of it is being completely yourself. This demands a huge amount of braveness, because by choosing this path consciously, you will have to face things that you might not be prepared to. Your deepest weaknesses, fears, traumas, limitations. You will begin a journey towards your own shadow. Of course, this trip also can be able to enhance the good parts of you. Meaning that your qualities and potentials may be improved by consciously assessing from a fearless perspective. That is where you begin to understand happiness. The second step for me was to completely lose the shame of your deffects. There is a very nice book and study from Rene Brown, talking about it. She awakened me to this new way of facing my limitations and traumas by accepting and actually talking about it. To show vulnerability is not a sign of being weak. Instead, is the deepest sign of strength and braveness. In the automatic mode that we usually live in we tend to postpone or procrastinate our own inner journey. And worse than that we try to avoid or block talking about the things that we do not like about ourselves. I have noticed that when you sincerely start to talk about yourself without fearing being judged in any manner, your things will be received by another human being with compassion and comprehension. There is no need to hide it. Happiness will actually start to fulfil your being from the moment you decide to deliberately talk about it. Discuss it. Live it again in your mind and bring it alive to your conscious understanding. Otherwise, it is just impossible to reach the level of happiness we pursue during our entire existence. Again, it has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with your ability to deal with the external world. On the contrary, the more you search inside, the better your life will get. When you wear a mask, it is just not possible to make your happiness flourish. I am a happy person now. At least I consider my life happy. And curiously, I am out of what people would call "normal life path". By being "out of the gaussian curve" of the expected life path for someone at my age and life experience, I could be able to access this deep understanding. This took thousand of free hours with myself. Was not easy, and will never be completed. But, somehow, my odd and challenging life situation allowed me to have something that most of my counterparts can not have as much: TIME. Time with yourself is absolute a must. Hours and hours of reading, meditation, openness to the new, brain porosity, emotional resilience and a lot, lot of persistence. I am now towards to what I define "true happiness". A state of mind that accounts completely into you. 100%. It has nothing to do with what you achieve or how much you financially earn. Or with what amount of "success" you accomplish in your professional, personal or spiritual life. It has to do with YOU. You are the key to your own happiness. The real sense of happiness lies inside. Your body is just a physical vehicle to allow you to experience. But, from my side, happiness is a feeling which cannot be accounted as completely physical. It transcends the comprehension that people have about a word definition. It gets to a point where words cannot give anything but an impression of what it really is. That is my experience now. I don't consider anymore some of the society "requirements" to achieve this state. You must be completely free from dogmas. That means that you need to create your own set o values and beliefs which are in tune with your true deep nature. Frequency coherence occurs in every system in equilibrium. I think that this balance is what makes you be able to experience happiness. It will be different to each human being, but all of us can achieve this state by looking to the inner side, in order to manifest in the outside. Please, if you can, or if you have the time, try to talk after you read this about one of your deepest fears with someone you trust. This is just a free sample of what you can achieve when you open your shadows, releasing them from you, without judging, so that this transformation can start to occur. I will put some links in the end of this text to inspire you. Are videos from the two authors I cited here. One is in portuguese and the other is in english. So none of you from my audience has the excuse to watch at least one. I wish you the best of all so that you can achieve this state that we try to go for during our whole life. I started to see it. And I am sure that everyone can see it as well. Have a great sunday!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qKybD1P5nk - Fear of happiness (portuguese)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0 - Listening to shame (english)
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