Today
I decide to talk about a topic that is somehow negative, but in a positive
manner. This is fear. Fear is one of the most basic human feelings we can
experience. Essentially is a mechanism based on the self-preservation mode that
all of us have. It leads us to the well know concept of fight or flight
response, where we make a decision when facing a life threat to run away or to fight against whatever is in front of us
in order to continue to live. In the animal kingdom, this is the case in most
of times, because of the limtiation of the animal’s brains and of the lack of
hability to subjectively evaluate other kinds of threats. This means that they
do it with the final purpose of keeping themselves alive so they can continue
to carry on their physical existence. However, when it comes to humans, the
mechanism of fear starts to appear much more complex. Even though, essentially
it prevents us from having life threatening events, it also, in my opinion, and
in the opinion of many scholars from psychology or neurosicence, may prevent us
to experience the good. I have already discussed this in previous texts, but I
think it deserves more insights. Imagine you have won the lottery. The first
reaction is to be happy right? However, instinctively we may also at the same
time experience a great fear. And if someonens finds out I am rich now? And if people
want to kill me to get my money? Or if they want to get close to me just to
take advantage? Or even worse, what if they come close trying to spoil my
moment of glory and victory? This is just a silly example, but many situations
in our lives raise this kind of paradox felling, which does not make sense, if
we think only rationally about that. But, our mind and our default software
program come with fear as key to the functioning of our operating system. This
means, that no matter how brave you are, fear is an undeniable human feeling
that cannot be completely blocked. I think that this awareness leads us to the
next question. If we have fear, even when it is not necessary, and
paradoxically, when we are vey happy, how should we cope with it? What is the
key to incorporate this fear in out day-by-day life without loosing the great
opportunities that may be blocked by this contradictory physiologic response?
Well, that is where I think it comes to the understanding of what we humans
have and that most animals do not. We have the choice. We can counsciouslly
affect what we are and how we react. It is obvious that to fight such a
primitive behavior, one must commit deeply to access and block those annoying
feelings that do not match with the potential gains that sometimes are lost
because we were not able to figure out how to overcome the unpleasantness of having
fear. The good news, (at least it has been for me) is that we can modify, or
better, atenuate such response so that we do not loose great moments in life
because of fear. I think that most people function pretty much in fear mode
most of the time. This comes from the early phase of our lives, when we were
threatned by our parents or teatchers, with punishments, which were upleasant,
and that therefore we would like to avoid. This mindset of fear modifying
behavior can be translated to the adult world in situation involving people
like work colleagues, relationship partners or family members, even thoug in a
more hidden, subjective perspective. I believe that this is wrong. This is with
no doubt the wrong way to go. To put people around you because they fear what
may happen is one of the weakest manners to manipulate people. This is even clearer,
when you are talking to toxic people, the so-called “energetic vampires”. They
suck what is good and try to keep it under control by acts generating fear
feelings. So, what is the answer to get out of this mess, and to put fear in a
more proactive perspective? For me is to trust in you. This comes with loving
yourself. This comes with strenght to
beat up people who want to put you down or to make you feel uncapable of
achieveing your goals. Brave and focused people suffer from this, because they
put fear into the weak people’s mind, so that to avoid this, they counter
action to put fear into your life so they fell less fear. The fact is that the
more you achieve, the more you get, the more likely will be the presence of
people trying to destroy your confidence through a fear mechanism. This means:
be aware of yourself and love yourself. Don’t ever give the power to someone
else to provoke fear in you. And if they try, overcome it, with patience,
wisdom and intelligence. Emotional development is essential to avoid fear to
block you. You need to change your attention when such a problem appears in
front of you. And if you are really convinced about your own value and hold
your trust that everything will come allright, the chances are that, if you
could not block the fear, you could at least bring it to a level where it does
not stop you from being you and to achieve whatever you have planned in your
life. Fear is good. Is a human feature that no one can block completely. But
those who dare to face it directly and who make the option to fight it with
self-development are those who will stand out of the crowd. I am already one of
those who are trying this option, and the fearless choice appears to be the
most adequate for those with big dreams. I wish that all of you can find that
inner power to fight your fears and make them to be your next leap to a better
and fullfilling life.
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