DUALITY

Duality

The word today is duality. It has been sometime since I wrote my last post. This was due to many reasons, but projects like this are for the lifetime and never end. So let's move on. The word duality is a good pick to make a wide discussion. We have been bombarded with news every day, and they are more or less divided into two groups: good and bad news. We are also a dual society in many aspects. There are always the hard worker and the lazy, the honest and the cheater, the good guy and the evil, the selfish and the generous. The list is endless. The point is that duality is the way we organize many of our day by day activities. We prioritize what is very important and postpone or cancel those things that are not so meaningful or heart catching. The problem with duality is that it works in many occasions as a binary system, similarly as computer language works: you either classify something as 1 or 0. That is very extreme in a sense that in between you have a full range of options, which are also in the end valid options. I usually have problems to figure out someone's else real message because of that. Maybe a 1 to me is a 0.6 to you. Or the 0 to you is a 0.7 to me. This leads to a very important issue: communication skills. Many of our misunderstandings in life occur due to the misinterpretation of duality. This means that I may say "the sun is yellow" and in your mind may wrong interpret "the sun is blue". This usually happens because the duality scale from the receiver and the person who talks are not matching. This creates a lot of problematic events, which lead us to face unnecessary problems. The core problem end up being how to put out the message in a way that you can achieve a "close" to universal binary communication system, where the receiver can really understand in its completeness what is being informed. In the era of instantaneous messaging or e-mails this becomes more tricky. The binary system of a text or a what's app is far more difficult to interpret. That said, it is much wiser to give information in person or through skype when the information involves complex issues, especially those involving conflicting feelings. Duality awareness is a term that I want to come with. This concept would  essentially lead to this: It is important, do not text, talk. It is no major issue: texting is fine. However, here comes another problem: Once you decided to classify something into important or not you are again "binarizing" ! So, if we think deeper, that means that we are in an infinite dimensions matrix of binary options that are impossible to predict. Each one of us runs a different operating system in our brains, due to the beauty of individuality. This a nature law, which cannot be changed. It makes even identic twins, with the same DNA code in their bodies, behave slightly or even completely different. The best way to reverse the bias of this matrix is to develop a very important emotional skill: empathy. Empathy demands you to work from your matrix to understand a different person matrix, trying to cope at the best possible way.  In real life the goal is to match what the receiver would feel or think when you do or tell something. Probably the best practical rule for that to work in practical situations is to follow one of the bible's laws: do to others exactly what you would like that they would do to you. Or even better: do to others what you would do to yourself. This does not guarantee that the outcome will be 100% successful. But at least you will be based on a theoretical framework, which seems to be reliable: your own set of values, (hopefully towards the good side of the options range, unless you are a masoquist!). Then it comes to the quintessential skill: to know yourself. With self-development you are able to act more authentically. With no masks. "Raw" you. So duality is there, ever was and ever will be. But in the information era, is almost a mortal sin to communicate inefficiently with others. Especially the close ones, family, work colleagues and mainly your love partner. So realize that your binary matrix is different. Accept it. And from that try to observe how to empathize with others by applying your own values mirrored into a different human being. By showing your nude identity you may still fail, but you will eventually succeed. If you fail a certain feeling will arise from deep: I did what I am. That, my friends, is priceless. Nice Sunday to all!